Part 1: Flange Size Edition

Here I was, researching the best strollers and bassinet, and suddenly I learned I was supposed to know one of the most important things about feeding my baby: what my flange size was… before my baby arrived.

I’ve read the books.

I trained as a birth doula.

I took the classes.

And somehow, I had never heard of anyone talk about flange sizing.

At that point, I don’t even think I knew what a flange even was.

Like many first time moms, I spent hours researching baby gear, creating a registry, and preparing for labor. But what I didn’t realize was that if I planned to pump, the size of the flange that came with my breast pump might not actually fit me.

And as it turns out, that matters.

A lot.

For those who may not know, a flange is the funnel-shaped part of a breast pump that fits over the nipple during pumping.

An improperly sized flange can affect comfort, milk out put, and the overall pumping experience. Yet somehow this wasn’t something that made it into my radar until being home postpartum.

I remember thinking “how is this not talked about more?”

It felt like one more thing in the growing list of motherhood lesson that nobody had mentioned before I found myself needing to know them.

And not once, not anywhere in my book or notes do I remember this being mentioned. I’m sure it was in a book, I just didn’t remember noticing.

It wasn’t until l had my baby in my arms, ready to feed him, that this became knowledge I needed.

My son didn’t latch easily in the beginning because he was on the smaller side. It took time, patience and the support of a lactation consultant before we found our rhythm.

But one thing I didn’t realize until I got home was that I needed the proper flange size for my breast pump. Otherwise, it simply wouldn’t work as effectively as it should.

The standard flange size that comes with most breast pumps is not the right fit for everyone.

And I had absolutely no idea.

Even after learning to use the hospital’s breast pump and becoming comfortable with it, I didn’t realize that the pump waiting for me at home might require different sizing.

Maybe this was an oversight on my part.

Maybe it’s common knowledge and I somehow missed it.

But if you’re reading this and thinking, “Wait… what’s a flange size?” then maybe I’m not the only one.

Amazon sells several nipple measuring kits, and your breast pump may even come with one.

To be completely honest, everything was such a blur during that time that I still don’t know whether my pump included a sizing guide or not. What I do know is that the pump came with the standard 24 mm flange, and I ultimately learned that I needed a 19 mm flange.

That was a huge difference.

Not long after, I developed severe mastitis. Whether it was related to flange fit, pumping challenges, missed sessions, or a combination of factors, it became one of the most painful experiences of my postpartum journey and significantly shortened my breastfeeding experience.

I do not wish this on ANYONE and this is why I am sharing this.

So if there is anything I could possibly encourage a new mother to do, it would be this:

• Learn how to use your breast pump before your baby is born.

• Measure your nipples and determine the appropriate flange size for yourself.

• Pump consistently, whether that’s every 2–3 hours or according to the guidance of your healthcare provider. Please don’t assume you can “make up for it later.” Engorgement and complications can develop quickly, especially in those early weeks.

These may seem like small details when you’re preparing for a baby, but they can make a world of difference once your little one arrives.

There is no better feeling than being able to focus on bonding with your baby instead of scrambling to learn everything at once.

While I don’t think it’s possible to know everything before your baby arrives, I do think we can make the journey a little easier for one another by sharing what we’ve learned along the way.

So consider this my small contribution to the village.

If this post helps even one mother avoid the confusion, frustration, and pain that I experienced, then it was worth writing.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll share another one of those motherhood lessons that somehow never made it into the books, classes, or conversations I thought had prepared me.

Until then, take care of yourself, trust your instincts, and remember: none of us are meant to do this alone.

With love,

Emelin 🌿